Paige Hunter Blog

Pregnancy is not a time of high glamour. Quite the opposite, really, when you consider the swelling limbs, pock marks, breathlessness, exhaustion and sleeping only on your left side, which leaves half of your body as tender as a bruise. Still, if you’ve seen Beyoncé in burnt orange at the MTV Awards or Angelina Jolie swathed in forest green chiffon at Cannes, it’s difficult to quash the notion that those 40 weeks of expanding stomach should represent something of a fashion opportunity.

In fact, most celebrities are a terrible source of maternity-style inspiration. One or two red carpet appearances, stitched into a couture dress, does not equate to 40 weeks of waddling to work, hoping that your elasticated pregnancy jeans don’t fall down. According to the conspiracy theories of one Los Angeles doctor, a staggering amount of celebrities aren’t really up the duff, anyway; the use of prosthetic bumps is rife in Hollywood, he claims. Obviously, when such rumours reared their heads about Kardashian she addressed them the 2015 way – with a naked selfie.

Unlike most celebrities, Kardashian is photographed almost daily – clearly, spending weeks watching Scream Queens while mainlining cornflakes is not an option with 53.2 million Instagram followers to entertain. And while recreating her exact wardrobe of Balmain and Givenchy would require Kardashian-levels of time, money and contacts, there are lessons in gumption for everyone.

1. Channel Girls Aloud circa 2004

Kardashian has made it her business to swathe her bump in the kind of stretchy fabric last seen in the Girls Aloud Love Machine video – and she looks all the better for it. She wore bodycon in the early months, when baby bumps tend to look more post-Pret bloat than earth mother, and she’s sticking to it in the third trimester, too, a time when most in the public eye wear apologetic, tent-like smocks if they leave the house at all. Bodycon can be more forgiving than it sounds when styled, the Kardashian way, under a loose outer layer. In the real world, try going a couple of sizes up in a basic H&M tube dress and plonk on a denim shirt or duster coat.

2. Be yourself – literally

Obviously, no selfie-respecting social media star would pass up the opportunity to pose nude with a bun in the oven – although when Kardashian did it she bolstered her own social media following with the image, rather than doing it to flog copies of Vanity Fair, which would be totally 1991. Never one to hide her light under a bushel, Kardashian’s clothes have been revealing, too, featuring see-through fabrics, bra tops and racy cut-outs. Though a few charming wags on social media have taken to “fat” shaming her for such a brazen display, she doesn’t seem to give a stuff. In October, she laughed louder in the face of pregnancy style criticism, wearing a dizzyingly meta Halloween costume: she dressed up as herself at the Met Ball in 2013, the last time she was pregnant, when the internet decided she looked like a sofa. Dressing up as yourself is remarkably easy to achieve when you are not famous, too, though few are likely to get the joke; the true lesson here is to ignore the pressure to suddenly “dress like a pregnant person”. For you, that could mean channelling Kanye, not Kim, in Doc Martens, maternity jeans and an oversized, longline jumper – whatever you wear, it doesn’t need to be demure.

3. Try monotoning

All of Kardashian’s seemingly outlandish outfits have one thing in common: slavish devotion to a single hue. Kardashian might wear chiffon dresses with cleavage for weeks, but the look will be head to toe black. Or she’ll wear beige-on-beige, in a skin-tight midi dress with a duster coat, or grey-on-grey in the same silhouette. (Added duster coat bonus: the type that are designed to be worn open will still fit when you are no longer pregnant.) All in all, monotoning is polished, flattering and offers further proof that Kanye is a really good stylist. Add an oversized choker and an eye-roll at the haters, and you’re done.

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